The World Report From Our March ’08 Issue – The Past 30 days

Well, it’s March already and the in like a lion shit is out…. let’s see where this one ends. As for the world at large, it seems as if the entire planet still has a pretty good handle on the new “Self Administered Skull Suppository” and while you look that that up, let’s look at some of the headlines. DATELINE…..           

Things never seem to change, gas prices continue to sky rocket while wages stay flat, but hey, Britney and Lindsay are back in rehab and really want help this time. O.J. is in custody again, at least only hurting himself and a few retailers along the way. If that wasn’t enough, it seems that Oprah Winfrey has announced her own television network, not only bringing more of her to you, but  bringing more money to her. And to think, we used to be afraid of how much power Ted Tuner had.                          

Wal-Mart has reportedly allowed unions into their Chinese stores, even after staunchly opposing unions in the United States. I guess that makes sense since we’re just a bunch of lazy bastards over here and they have to protect themselves from us. By the way, we got a letter from a reader this month that asked us simply “Do you guys know where the hell my job went?” and to that we only have these few answers: Bush is actively trying to get you new employment in Iraq, the gas stations should be hiring based on their recent profits, Oprah will also be adding to the list of employment needs, so keep your head up.

On the other hand, if you feel like maybe you don’t want to be a professional Wal-Mart Greeter, then do your own thing man, hang up a shingle and let’s get ‘er done! Here’s the news from the motorcycle industry, hard to believe that our culture has become less weird than the general public, but it’s true. – Grab your ankles Nancy, here comes the news!!!!