2014 is going to be the 9th installment of the STAMPEDE. If you don’t know what that is, the STAMPEDE is the ULTIMATE cross-country chopper race ever, period. And there’s only going to be 2 more before we put it to bed and move on to the next ordeal. Basically we are going to ride choppers from the left side of the country to the right side, and then we’re going to party down at the Smokeout, The Horse Backstreet Choppers’ annual party in Rockingham, North Carolina. The Smokeout is pretty much THE chopper shindig not to be missed on the Eastern side of our fine nation, and if you are so inclined getting there via the STAMPEDE is a pretty excellent way to do it via the longest hardest way possible. So, if you’ve had a hankering to make it happen, you better get on it because you’re running out of time.
Same 4 rules as ever apply: rigid frames only (struts are okay, but remember it’s a CHOPPER race), no hard bags no windshields, (it’s a CHOPPER race), no rubber mounted motors, (it’s a CHOPPER race… you pickin up what i’m laying down here?) and finally no chase vehicles of any kind! Of course there’s going to be a little twist this year, as there is most every year to keep things interesting. This year is going to be the OG year. So what exactly does that mean?
Well, this year we are going to have a 5 gallon maximum fuel capacity, and your bike has to have a functioning kicker in addition to the four classic rules. That way, it’s just going to be a regular damn motorcycle race. Nothing fancy, put up or shut up. Basically like showing up at a gas station on your regular ride and betting your buddy you will beat him to the next one, except maybe just a little bit further than that.
In accordance with the spirit and nature of our undertaking, for this OG year we’re going to leave from one of the primordial breeding grounds from which choppers originally sprang back in the 60’s and 70’s. Frisco, baby! Where it all started. Plan on being there Friday, June 20. That’s really all you need to know to make it happen. For the specific details and locations, contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m on IG too @charliethenomad. Send me a picture of yourself and your bike and generally prove to me you’re not a cop, and I’ll tell you the rest. If you’re really serious this won’t be a problem. If you’re not, well, just keep blowin hard and thumping your chest. From what I understand, we’re going to be leaving from a very damned interesting spot where some very interesting individuals have been so kind as to open their doors to our phalanx of miscreants.
On the other side, we’ll have our own little compound at the Smokeout, and the boys from NC are gonna cook a pig. I know one thing for certain, and that is them ol boys know a thing or two about some damn barbecue, and we are gonna party down!
I know a lot of you are going to be bellyaching about how if you go you won’t be able to make Born Free. What a pity. All the cool kids are going to Born Free, but let’s just face the facts. You’re probably not that damn cool anyways. I’d much rather knock down 6000 miles than 600. The road is where all the REAL good shit is at anyways. It’s not like the Smokeout is on the same weekend intentionally, after all. If you want to blame somebody, blame the entire sport of golf. Or blame the president. It’s complicated, but irrelevant. Do what you really want to do, and you can’t go wrong. No excuses. For all you guys that aren’t even going to make the Smokeout, well, I guess there’s just going to be more beer for us in North Carolina. Quit worrying about what everyone else is doing and follow the calls that only your soul hears, and you will invariably find yourself in the right place at the right time. If you want an adventure, well, the keys are in it, hoss. Buy the ticket, take the ride. In your heart you know what’s right.
And now for the standard issue disclaimer. In the STAMPEDE, it is every man for his damn self. Nobody will be there to hold your hand for you. The STAMPEDE is illegal, immoral, indecent, stupid, wrong, dangerous, and should not be ridden by anyone under any circumstances. It’s all on you, man. There is no STAMPEDE. No such entity, in form, deed, reality, or otherwise. The STAMPEDE is unsanctioned, unsponsored, and nobody is responsible for you or your actions in any way, shape, or form. These are not the droids that you have been looking for.
So… Do what you gotta do and make it happen if that’s your trip!