The pre-ride check list for the annoying rider
From the Garage Girls, I had to borrow it, enjoy!
Tuesday, March 30th, 2010
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the “Live to ride—ride to live” statement on your inspection cover.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added lame appearance.
6. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
7. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
8. Leather pants
9. Gloves
10. Wrap around sunglasses
11. Skull cap helmet(German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary
12. CAT work boots (new)
13. Leather vest with a million patches.
14. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
15. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline.
16. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout
17. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle
18. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
Way to go
Sometimes you just have to tell it like it is.
ROGUE
OH! I almost forgot these are also the types that think they know everything and want to make rules for others to follow.
BIKERS need to get involved in stopping Bad Laws From Being Passed.
FRIGGIN” Hilarious! you just described why I’ve refused to buy an HD!!! :)
This slays me. I like people watching when I ride to a local spot. These guys are everywhere and I just have to shake my head. I ride and that’s what I do and most of the time on my own. Some of these clowns are dangerous to be around. I make space between them and me.
You forgot:
19. Double-check LED accent lights are working.
20. Ready-to-wear bandana with flames!
21. Handy-dandy HD Engine History Book – that way you can tell your “old lady” what type of engine is in that HD over there. Pay special attention to them ironheads – they can look like shovels at a certain angle.
Bubs,
holy crap we did leave those out! NICE, thanks for adding!!!!